As the mother of a nonverbal autistic child, few things are more terrifying than going out into the real world. Something as simple as physically going to the grocery store can be both physically and mentally exhausting. Through trial and error, I have been able to develop some strategies and coping mechanisms to help us get through the trip. Like any other child, my son has food preferences and will want things he sees at the grocery store. When I talk to other parents, friends, etc. they often want to know, how do I know what he wants? How does my nonverbal child make selections at the grocery store?
Let’s talk about it.
Understanding My Son
First, let me preface this article by saying – if you’ve met one nonverbal child on the spectrum, you’ve met ONE nonverbal autistic child on the spectrum. Autism is a spectrum disorder. My son doesn’t have a solid means of communication. He does not speak as you or I would speak. He does have a device (supplied by his school) that can help him communicate with words if he chooses to utilize it. Unfortunately, he has zero interest in using it at home. In fact, summer break just started for us and I’m not even 100 percent sure where his device is at the moment. (It is probably still in his backpack).
So, how does my nonverbal son communicate his wants and needs? Well, my son communicates with me specifically through physical touch. He will pull on me to get me to follow him and take me to what he wants. Likewise, he will also communicate by bringing the object of desire to me, such as juice or a pack of fruit snacks.
People who know my son wonder how this translates to making choices at the store. Does my son give any input when we are grocery shopping? Does he have a way to tell me if he wants something on the shelves?
Absolutely.
How My Nonverbal Autistic Child Makes Grocery Store Choices
While an extremely rare occurence, my son will grab something from a shelf and give it to me. But, like I said, this is extremely rare. In these instances, unless I just financially can’t afford it, I will almost always purchase whatever it is he picks off the shelf just because of how rarely he does this. The idea here is to encourage active communication through positive reinforcement. I want him to tell me when he wants something at the grocery store. So, if this happens I put it in the cart and immediately tell him “yes” we will get it.
*Keep in mind, this is not medical or behavioral advice. I fully understand that this won’t work for all nonverbal autistic children or children on the spectrum in general, but, for our family specifically, it has been a great help in encouraging our nonverbal child to make an effort to communicate.*
What typically happens is I pick things I know my son likes and then show them to him. I get his attention by saying his name and asking him directly if he wants the item in question. I then present him with the object. At this point, one of two things will happen. He will take the object from me, indicating that he wants it. Or, he will push it away, telling me he does not want it.
Over time, I’ve learned not to immediately say no to something because I assume (based on past experiences) that he won’t like it. Sometimes my son surprises me with something he is willing to eat even though it goes against his typical sensory preferences.
Obviously, If your child picks everything up off the shelf anyway, or is more naturally communicative, this strategy will likely not be one that improves your shopping experience. It has, however, worked amazingly well for us. Over time, we’ve been able to expand his list of safe foods, which has also positively impacted our ability to feed him a more rounded diet. Giving him the option to help make food choices in-store, will often (but not always) make him less suspicious of these foods when we present them at mealtime — which is an absolute win for this Mama.
Do you have any grocery store tips that work well with your nonverbal autistic child? Let us know in the comments.
